But was it?

One of the hardest things about emotional abuse is convincing yourself that it even happened.

Many people doubt themselves, their memories and their experiences.

After all, there are no bruises. No clear, defining moment when everything changed. Just a thousand tiny instances that chipped away at your self-esteem.

With their constant plausible reasons for everything that makes you question yourself and your part to play in this experience, it is understandable why you would start to think "it wasn't that bad" and actually dampen down your lived experience.

Don't deny your feelings or your experience. How you feel is valid and that is enough.

Abusers are masters of manipulation and control. They keep you second-guessing. They rewrite history. They twist your emotions until you’re the one apologising for their behaviour.

And because they’re not awful all the time—because there are still moments of kindness, laughter, or affection—you tell yourself, maybe it’s not abuse after all.

These crumbs keep you hoping, praying and often convinced that you've got it wrong. Because they're telling you just enough of what you want to hear when things are going south, to change the tide.

Breaking Free Starts With Recognising It

If any of this feels familiar, please know: you’re not imagining it. It’s not in your head. And you’re not alone.

Recognising emotional abuse is the first step to breaking free from it. Whether it’s a partner, a family member, or even a close friend, understanding the patterns of control and manipulation gives you back your power. It can be a long road but one that is worth taking in order to live the rest of your life in a way that you want to and that feel true to you, rather than one you are left doubting your decisions and choosing less than you deserve.

You deserve relationships that are safe, supportive, and respectful.

You deserve to trust yourself again.

And most of all, you deserve to heal.