Fight for you first

If you're a SEND Parent you won't be alone in feeling exhausted. Mentally, emotionally and also physically drained. For some it can feel like every single day you’re in battle mode—fighting for your child’s needs, advocating, chasing appointments, filling out forms, researching therapies, and just trying to get through the day without falling apart.

You push yourself to breaking point because that’s what a good parent does, right? You keep going. Keep fighting. Keep putting yourself last. But here’s the reality no one talks about: doing everything for your kids is admirable to a point BUT if you don’t fight for YOU first, you’re going to be in no fit state to fight for them.

When You Don’t Prioritise Yourself, It Takes a Toll and the effects impact further than you may realise.

This isn’t about the odd tough day where you snap and feel guilty afterward, as parents everyone experiences this and it's normal. Parenting is hard and challenging and wonderful all at the same time.

What happens though when constant stress, burnout, and emotional exhaustion which has been in place for so long, maybe years become your normal. When you’re so depleted that you start running on survival mode 24/7, and without realising it, your frustration, resentment, and overwhelm start spilling onto the people you love most. It’s not intentional and it’s certainly not because you don’t care. It’s because no one can give from an empty cup.

Without looking after yourself and prioritising your wellbeing feeling a little short tempered can turn into constant irritability but not just at services or strangers, but within your home. You can direct this at your partner, wider family, friends or even your children.

Emotional exhaustion can turn into numbness where you’re physically present but mentally checked out. Resentment can creep in and suddenly, everything feels unfair, suffocating, and hopeless. It becomes hard to see any joy or experience any fulfilment in your parenting role. On top of this guilt can build up but instead of fixing it, you just keep pushing through—because stopping feels like a luxury you can’t afford.

And in the worst cases, without even meaning to, you might start seeing signs of emotional neglect or even emotional abuse—not because you’re a bad parent, but because you’re running on empty with nothing left to give.

This Is Why ‘Self-Care’ Isn’t Selfish—It’s Survival

It’s easy to roll your eyes when people say “you need to take care of yourself” - you're probably thinking " what do THEY know?", when they have no clue what your life actually looks like, the reality of day to day life. But this isn’t about spa days or bubble baths. It’s about giving yourself permission to be a priority—because if you burn out, everything around you starts to suffer, including your kids.

You need somewhere to offload, somewhere to be heard, somewhere to make friends with other who "get it", and somewhere to feel like you’re not carrying this alone.

Because you don't have to. It might feel like you're on your own right now but there are other people just waiting to connect with you who do understand what it's like and want to help.

That’s exactly why The Village exists. It’s a space for SEND parents to come together, talk, share, and actually get the support and somewhere to start working on your wellbeing to prevent these things from happening. This so often gets overlooked.

It’s NOT about finding a magic solution to fixing all the issues you're facing ( I wish I could) —it’s about looking after YOU, so you have the strength, clarity, and energy to keep showing up for them in the way you want to.

But that starts with showing up for YOU as in the way YOU want to first. Because the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and you don’t have to do this alone.

If you want to come join us in The Village