When You Finally Clean The Oven: Why Counselling And Coaching Often Start Like This

There’s a particular kind of job we all put off.

Not because we don’t know it needs doing. Not because we don’t care. However, because we know it’s going to take effort, time, and a bit of emotional energy that we’re not yet sure we have, we're hesitant.

Cleaning the oven is a good example.

You notice it getting worse over time. You tell yourself you’ll do it another day and then quickly hide it away. Shut the door. After all, the outward-facing part - the bot others see is much easier to give a quick wipe to, maybe hang the tea towel over the handle to his some more and then keep busy. No one will ever know because, quite honestly, hardly anyone dares to venture beyond the surface.

What you see is what is shown. A glance, and then no one thinks about it, rapidly moving on to the next job. The secret stays hidden for another day. And so it goes on.

The illusion - it's a great decoy. It's survival, it's coping, it's avoidance. But all the while it niggles away at you, quietly building until you can't ignore it anymore.

You might even prepare for it — researching the best products, buying what you need, mentally rehearsing how you’ll tackle it. And still, you don’t start. Not yet.

This is often what brings people to counselling or coaching.

Most people don’t arrive suddenly or impulsively. They’ve usually been aware for some time that something isn’t sitting right. Perhaps they’re carrying stress home from work, feeling stuck in patterns they don’t fully understand, or noticing their energy, motivation, or confidence slipping. They may have read articles, listened to podcasts, or followed practitioners online. They are preparing.

Preparation, however, isn’t the same as readiness.

Readiness comes when avoiding the issue takes more energy than addressing it. When the cost of leaving things as they are begins to outweigh the discomfort of doing something different.

When people do start counselling or coaching, the early stages can feel harder than expected. It can be uncomfortable to look closely at what’s been building up beneath the surface. Conversations can feel effortful. There may be moments of resistance, fatigue, or uncertainty.

This is not a sign that something has gone wrong.

Like tackling a long-avoided task, the first part of the work often requires the most energy. You are engaging with things that have been quietly accumulating for a while. It takes focus and commitment.

What tends to follow, though, is a sense of relief.

Not necessarily because everything is suddenly resolved, but because the weight of avoidance has lifted. Things feel clearer. There is movement where there was stagnation. Clients often describe feeling lighter, more grounded, or more able to meet daily life with a steadier footing.

Counselling and coaching are not about fixing people. They are about creating space to attend to what has been neglected, postponed, or pushed aside — at a pace that feels manageable and appropriate.

You don’t have to be in crisis to begin. And you don’t have to force yourself to be ready before you are.

But when the time is right, choosing to engage in the work — however challenging it may feel at first — can make a meaningful difference to how life feels day to day.

Sometimes, starting is the hardest part. And sometimes, that’s exactly where things begin to shift.

This same process often shows up in workplaces. Individuals may function well on the surface while quietly carrying pressure, responsibility, or unresolved stress. Early, preventative support — through counselling or therapeutic coaching — can help people address issues before they escalate into burnout, disengagement, or absence.

Support works best when people are met where they are, rather than when they’ve reached breaking point.

If you’re considering support for yourself or within an organisation, the right time is rarely about urgency — it’s about readiness.