It won't be how you think

When you've been affected by narcissistic abuse, how do you move on and find your way back to you?

This can feel like an impossible task and one that is so far out of reach you feel like you'll forever stay like you feel at the moment.

You’ve spent so long fighting, just trying to survive, questioning your own thoughts and decisions and been ground down that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to just be. To breathe without walking on eggshells. To make a decision without second-guessing yourself. To feel like… you.

Because that’s what narcissistic abuse does—it chips away at who you are until you don’t even recognise yourself anymore.

Maybe you’re still questioning if it was really that bad. Maybe you’re carrying guilt that isn’t yours to hold. Maybe you’re wondering if you’ll ever trust again.

Let me tell you this: You are not broken. You are healing. And healing is possible.

Here’s where it starts:

Recognising what happened – Naming the manipulation and emotional abuse for what it was. Not making excuses for them. Not gaslighting yourself. Feeling your emotions and the enormity of what you have gone through in a safe environment. This can take a while to establish and don't be so hard on yourself if you find it difficult to trust anyone, that is understandable. You need to feel safe and supported to go on this journey and know that you have the support of the person with you.

Letting go of the guilt – You are not too sensitive. You are not the problem. You are not selfish for putting yourself first now or ever. Guilt is a horrible emotion and one that feels really debilitating but working through this to understand that you have nothing to feel guilty for is important for your healing and future.

Rebuilding your sense of self – Because you are allowed to have needs, opinions, and boundaries. And you don’t have to justify them. It might seem like reading that right now that it is not possible, an abstract concept and one that isn't real or that you don't deserve. But you do deserve it and you will be able to overcome this and reconnect with who you truly are and define your sense of self.

Learning to trust yourself again – That little voice inside you? The one that was ignored, dismissed, or shut down? It was right all along. And you can listen to it again. Developing your trust with yourself and listening to your gut are important and you can learn to have the courage to trust again.

Choosing peace over chaos – Because your nervous system has been on high alert for far too long, and now, you deserve to feel safe. In your body, emotions and mind. Working with all elements of you in a holistic fashion at your pace is essential. It might feel very strange at first and like things don't feel right - when in fact as you progress through your healing journey you'll start to understand that things first feel different and that is ok. Different is good compared to how you have been feeling and existing, moving away from what you have known is going to feel different but in time you'll soon welcome this new normal rather than the state you have been used to being in for so long.

I’m not going to lie to you—healing isn’t instant and it's not a clean line with a set number of steps and delivered in a neat tidy package wrapped up with a bow. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and some days, it’ll feel impossible. But little by little, you will come back to yourself. And when you do, you’ll realise something: you were always enough.

You are not alone in this. If you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here, reach out to discuss taking the first steps on your healing journey.